Don't Despair

I told you two weeks that I had been thinking a lot about Judas over the past couple of years. I started to write about that last week, but halfway through, I got writer's block. Sunday, I discovered why. My friend JJ was giving the communion meditation and mentioned some things that should be included in this post. Isn't it wonderful how God works? Here I was frustrated because I couldn't think of exactly how to say the things that God had laid on my heart and all the while it was just His way of saying, "hold on there, I've got you covered - just wait." (He does that, but too often we don't recognize it for what it is.)

Anyway, I'm truly fascinated by the story of Judas because we are all like him in some respect. As humans, we like to assign levels or degrees to sin - telling a lie isn't as bad as murder. However, in God's eyes, sin is sin. Telling a lie is as bad as murder. If you are guilty of one part of the Law, you are guilty of the whole Law. ("For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." - James 2:10.) That said, the EARTHLY consequences for those sins are different - and should be because some sins affect others more.

Judas betrayed Jesus. But don't forget that Peter betrayed Jesus also. Judas betrayed Him by turning him over to the Chief Priest and Temple Guard. Peter betrayed Him by denying that he knew Him. Later, Paul betrayed Jesus by going after the church and putting many of the believers to death (or at the very least hunting them down, turning them over and giving his approval while he watched them being stoned to death). All three of these men were very sorry for what they had done. So what's the difference between them?

Judas gave into despair. He was very sorry for what he did. He even tried to undo it. He went to the priests and confessed that he had sinned by turning over an innocent Man. He returned the money. (Which the priests didn't want because is was blood money.) Then he hung himself. In the "Anne of Green Gables" movie that starred Colleen Dewhurst and Megan Follows, Anne says that she is in the "depths of despair" after she dyes her hair and it turns out green. Marilla tells her not to talk like that because "to despair is to turn your back on God." That's a pretty good definition for true despair. Judas could have gone to Mary and the disciples to tell them he was sorry and he realized how great his sin was. He could have asked for their forgiveness. If he had waited, then he would have witnessed the resurrection and could have asked Jesus to forgive him. Can you imagine what kind of witness he would have been? But, that was not the path that he chose. He chose to give in to despair and end his life - cancelling any chance for redemption.

Peter ran away when he realized that he had denied Jesus. And we don't know what he did immediately after that. But we do know that at some point after the crucifixion that he sought out the other disciples because they were all together when they heard about the resurrection. More than likely, they had gathered to comfort each other and mourn together. I have no doubt that they talked about Peter denying that he knew Him - I'm sure they talked over everything that happened on that night. I'm also sure that Peter talked about how sorry he was for denying Christ. We don't have a record of those conversations, but we do have a record of a conversation Jesus had with Peter a little later - it ends with "feed my sheep." Peter did not give in to despair, but repented and went on to live the rest of his life to bring glory to God. He delivered his first sermon on Pentecost and about 3,000 people accepted Jesus as their Savior.

Paul met Jesus on the road to Damascus after His ascension to Heaven. Paul was on his way to persecute more Christians. Jesus met him in a blinding light asked him why he was persecuting Him. Paul immediately stopped persecuting the Church but continued to seek them out - but now it was to learn from them. He repented and went on to travel to other countries to preach and teach that Christ not only died for our sins, but He conquered death so that through Him we can also conquer death. All we have to do is accept the sacrifice He made for us and follow Him.

So we have all betrayed Jesus in one way or another - how are you going to respond to that? Don't despair, there is forgiveness and in that is true hope.